The scars will always be there to remind me of my past, but as well as proof of how strong I have become.
Only a three-syllable word, but means so much. The impact it gives tramples walls and breaks the strongest defenses. It ruined lives, divided homes and killed hopes built for years.
The pain that follows is beyond human threshold. Your heart is stabbed and burned alive, and the pain seemed eternal. You are in the darkest part of the world not seeing any light, not even a flicker. All you ever want is to hold your breath until the pain is gone.
But all these don’t even describe the actual reality of what goes on in the soul of someone who has been betrayed by the person she had dedicated her whole life to.
I am Anna from Panabo City. Months before I joined Virtualahan, I (was) a single mom. I am a mother of three kids, two boys, and 1 girl.
When I got married, I embraced the role of being a loving wife to my husband and a mother to my children. They became my priority. They are my world. Everything else changed in me. I selflessly devoted myself to them so I could give the care and love they deserve. I chose to quit my job to be a fulltime mom to my two children. Life got challenging but my husband and I remained intact. We managed to get by with the storms of life. We had another blessing, a daughter we longed for completed our growing family.
We were happy. I thought we were. Until I discovered my husband’s lies.
Five months after I gave birth to my daughter, I received a text message from a woman I was never acquainted with. She asked if we could meet somewhere. With no clue who she was, I asked further. She told me the bare truth of my husband’s affair. She was his affair. I was shocked, perplexed but ignored everything that transpired. “Maybe the message was just mistakenly sent.” I didn’t reply or further bother. I refused to meet her and kept the truth I knew to myself. But the woman did not stop bothering. She sent me a Valentine’s card which she claimed was given by my husband. Trembling, I opened the card and saw my husband’s initials and saw his own handwriting in it. I was terrified.
But when the woman further told me the details of their affair, I cringed in pain. She was 5 months pregnant with my husband’s child! He flirted and had contact with that woman while I was pregnant with our daughter???
I wailed, waiting for someone to wake me up from the horrifying nightmare I was in. But no. No one did because this was not something in my unconsciousness that I could just forget when I would open my eyes. This is the truth that I have to deal with.
I was barely recovering after giving birth to my daughter and now I am facing another pain, even worse than my surgical incision.
How long had he betrayed me? Did he ever love that woman? Why did he do this to me? What did I do to deserve this? I’ve been a good wife and a good mother. I have given my all even my life to my family! But why?
I tried to control myself from the violent reactions my head was feeding me. I had to keep my composure. My daughter was silently sleeping at my lap. But I couldn’t hold the pain. It was consuming me alive. I called my sister-in-law and told her about his brother’s betrayal. She was fuming in anger and embarrassment.
Unmindful of my actions, I went to my husband’s workplace. I asked the security guard to hold my baby. I rushed to find my husband and showered him with the strongest slaps I could give. I was shaking because I was terribly mad. I lost myself in the anger enveloping me. “He should feel the pain, I feel!”
He cried and felt embarrassed with his conscious mistake. He tried explaining but I was all too numbed to listen to his explanations. “Everything that he would say is definitely a lie”, I told myself. I went back to find the mistress and there I pointed out how she has wrecked my home.
My home was not the only thing in ruins, but my soul as well.
With all the things that I could pack, I left my husband and brought my kids with me. “He doesn’t deserve our love!”
He knelt asking for forgiveness so I’d give him a second chance, but at that moment, I was immensely hurt. The only thoughts I had then was to escape the misery constricting my lungs with air. I know what I was doing was difficult, but I had to take action. I must leave.
I tried to beat him again and again to lessen my pain. But no matter how I beat him physically, I will forever be impaired emotionally.
Deep in my mind, my thoughts are with my children. Now I have to consider surviving without their father. I must strengthen the foundations of our home even without him. I know I can singlehandedly provide because God is with me.
I know there are many other women who experienced the same pain of betrayal. It isn’t easy we could all attest to that. The more difficult it is when you have children whom you know would be devastated with the effects of the wreck.
Like me, many women are handicapped in building happy homes because of “Betrayal”. But like them, we rise from the rubbles, we stand through the test of life because we are stronger than we think.
The providential chance of being part of Virtualahan is a wonderful chance to start over. I want to enhance my digital skills so I could earn and sustain my children. A window of hope has opened after the door closed at my face.
The betrayal happened more than a year ago but my heart has not fully healed. The scars will always be there to remind me of my past but as well as a proof of how strong I have become.
At the time this story was written, Anna was separated with her husband. However just recently, we have news that their family is trying to pick up the pieces to make their home whole again. It’s a difficult journey but we pray for the best for Anna and her family.