People love the sights of red because it reminds them of beautiful things like roses, apples, strawberries and hearts. Red is also the color of important celebrations people have in a year.
In my case, red isn’t just something that reminds me of celebrations or scarlet things. Red is something I see everyday of my life. It is the color that reminds me of both life and death and the struggles in between.
I’m hemophiliac! This means my body literally bleeds for no apparent reason. However, in most cases I bleed after an injury, minor bruising and sometimes even with mild movements.
Hemophilia is a genetic disorder that causes the human body to bleed due to the absence of clotting in the blood. My life is hard than it seems.
When an ordinary boy bruises his knee, he cries in pain as he sees tiny drops of blood from the open wound. In my case, it’s different. A tiny bruise could cause me to bleed profusely to the point of draining me with my own blood. The pain is excruciating to say the least. I would wallow in pain because it felt like my blood is being vacuumed out of me.
It’s hard. It’s painful. And I’m tired.
But what can I do? I was born with this condition and there’s no escaping from this. All I can do is accept this reality.
Everyday the struggle gets real because I have to keep watch of my actions to keep me from seeing my own blood. This is why I had to quit school because of my physical and emotional distress. On top of that, my family is financially drained to the core.
My mother is only a househelp and my father died when I was young. I know regardless of how much will I have to keep pushing me to finish school, my body is too tired and weak. To add on to that, our finances is not enough to keep our boat of life afloat if I would indulge myself in medication. I have to understand our financial constraints that’s why I had to choose to work instead.
I tried working online and explored the online buy and sell. I was earning but like all startups, it couldn’t sustain me. My earnings were not enough to get me by. I tried searching opportunities online so I could make use of technology and at the same time be in the confines of our home so I could avoid the daily commute and so I could keep watch of myself. At least if I’d bleed I’d be at home and people won’t be around to look at me.
I saw in all these online work ads that they are in need of particular sets of digital skills and I knew I have limited knowledge and skills. I saw Virtualahan online and it was then that I realized that this is the best place for me. It could train me with my digital skills and at the same time I have a community that understands and does not put my limitations at bar of my potential. It’s there to help me out to start anew with my life. It is helping me somehow forget my limitations and the pain I have in my everyday life.
Right now, I am looking forward to online work opportunities with Virtualahan and its supportive community.
Though red is the color of blood the drains me, but it’s also the color of love, hope and happiness if I see life the other way around.
I still struggle and I’m still in pain. But this time, with hope that time will come that all these will come to pass and I will have the time to live my life at it’s best.
JHIO DO CARPIO